…and another thing…

I believe I participate in the sabotage of my own success. There. I said it. It’s out there. it’s on the world wide web. People can read about it, critique it, etc. But I felt the need to use this blog medium to write about it from first person.

i have spent the last hour (since my tyrade about marriage and being pregnant) shuffling papers from one side of my desk to the other. at one point i was so disorganized, i have jumbled my personal writing projects, papers, notes, etc with work materials. CRAZY.  i sometimes believe my disorganization is intentional, to throw me off and keep me from reaching my goals. I feel like a nut case.

For three days I have been trying to put together a table of contents for my poetry manuscript. I spent an evening in Paneras putting the poems in alphabetical order and inserting them into plastic sheaths to protect the paper from spills and mishaps. Now it comes time to put the table of contents with the rest of the material. it is partially done, since i had previousy created a spreadsheet with the name and creation date for every poem i can account for. Quite an achievement were it not for the fact that at least once a day I loose this paper in a pile of other notes, to-do lists and such on my desk.

Even now rather than working on the table of contents, I am blogging. After this, I’ll feed my fish in Fishworld, after that I’ll read my e-mail, after that I’ll let the tv distract me. Before I know it, it’s 11 PM and it’s time for bed. FOR SHAME…


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