the art of perserverance

been thinking about why i write. i’ve gotten nothing published, in fact my ego was victimized by the London/UK Forward Press, Poetry Rivals scam where i get a letter saying that my poem has been accepted for publication and asking for galley proofs of the piece. This was in September 2008 and it is now December and I’ve heard nothing further from Poetry Rivals. While trying to follow up on this, i find a website that exposes the scam to get people to purchase a copy of the book in which you believe your piece is to be published. I too had sent them a check for $35.00. It preyed upon the need to see my words in print, it was cruel and it set me back.

but now i think about why i began this enormous task in the first place. word monkey. word jockey. a fool for words. i must write. it is of necessity that i put those thoughts that go scampering around in my head on paper. those  words and phrases that awaken me in the night or wait patiently at the foot of my bed until i awake and whisper good morning. it is necessary work for me as a creative person. it is necessary.

so why is winning contests and awards and fellowships so important? that is a mystery that i would like to solve in the coming year. what ego-maniac lives here in this studio that drives this need for recognition? Aren’t my words important even if NOONE ever reads them? For that matter, why blog, why put your mind on the world wide web so routinely now? the subject of ‘the art of perserverance’ is intriguing to me. i will persevere.

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