silencing the voices in my head

I am closer to the end than the beginning. Let me explain.

the last time i was able to blog about my writing life, i was contemplating writing a poem that included snippets of all the e-mail responses i had sent to people over the past month. I like the idea more and more, and may actually be about to compile this. what to call it? what to call it?

Meanwhile, the show is oh-va. i am just today beginning to reclaim the broken, jagged pieces of a writing life. of course, now i feel the pressure to write-edit-create-muse; write-edit-create-muse; repeat as necessary. It’s always all or nothing with me–very rarely do I strike a happy medium.

But at least i’m able to write, even if i don’t do it. i spent 3 weeks unable to even put pen to paper, that’s how overwhelmed i had become. i don’t ever want to do that again. Ever.

which brings me to how i figured out what to do to get to the place of healing from the hurts and disappointments, as well as be blessed by all the encouragement taken place over the past 3-4 weeks.

It’s time for a road trip: I’m leaving for Nashville, Indiana later this month.

No, not moving to Nashville, although that has its own charm to it; rather just going down to brown county for 2 or 3 days to get a grip on the girl I once knew. i am trying to silence all the voices in my head. The voices that tell me I’m not good enough; that I’m foolish for even wanting to write; that I’m wasting time pursuing this dream; that i should forget about making my mark in the world and get back to “real” work. Those voices. Voices that say “do this” or “do that”. voices that insist I worry when I know better. Voices that whisper things for me to worry and fret over. Voices that scream and try to scare me into doing nothing–paralyzing voices that won’t shut up.

Will a road trip do ALL that? well it’s a mighty fine place to start.

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