my journey to love

I am called to write a book about my journey to love…to share what I have learned along the way…to document the path God put me on to receive the love I have always wanted.
Once again Bible study reminded me of the importance of writing the book, My Journey To Love. My Bishop said that my ministry to whatever it is I have gone through. I have gone through a lot of stuff ; the water has risen and the fire has burned hot. But God has been with me all the way bringing me to this place. I am extremely grateful for the grace of God that has kept me.
How many times can a person be hurt? How many times do they have to forgive?
How many times does a woman have to be alone?
How many times does it take to realize that she will always be alone…but never lonely?
I have no siblings, no father, no male role models, no husband, no boyfriend or companion (nor any prospects). This unique circumstance, coupled with my fierce independence, is not coincidental. It is by divine providence that I am the way I am and I live the way I have lived.
This is my story.

Today, I saw a woman crossing the street. Her clothes were disheveled and dirty. She had unintentional holes in the toes of her sneaker shoes. As she crossed the busy intersection, I noticed that she was talking to herself. Although she looked to be in her 50s, I suspect she was in her 30s, but life had taken its toll on her. I imagine drugs and alcohol had their way with her and that she had crossed the imaginary line into insanity.

It was at that moment I remembered how many close calls I had in my life and how many times I had imagined that I would cross that line, not know it, and remain in insanity until it was too late to do anything about it. Crazy, huh? But God kept me from losing my mind. I am quite rational and lucid as I type these words. They are, I believe, the introduction to my autobiography “My Journey to Love” (working title).
I am glad to have begun.

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