What Keeps Me Up at Night

my personal boogey-men are. . .

midnight walk

there is very little that keeps me up at night, but if i had to identify my personal boogy-man, it would be the near-constant fear and worry about never knowing for certain and dying without ever discovering what my God-ordained purpose is. many years ago, i went in search of my passion–my purpose. i have discovered many things about myself as i search for the simplistic answer to "what is my passion?" of these i discovered that art is essential to my life and that i am willing to tenaciously seek art, beauty, culture in my life until the day i die. the twin to my uncertainty is fear that i will turn into another versiou of my mother. i don't despise her but i wish she had chosen to live life instead of die from day one. i refuse to die that way and i spend a lot of time and a considerable amount of cash trying to be sure that it doesn't happen to me. so i will go down in flames DETERMINED to live life loved and determined to live life to its fulliest. so dying along, with unfulfilled dreams and misplaced passion haunt my midnight hour.

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