up at 3:30 am

a writing colleague posted on her Facebook status that instead of getting up at 3:30 am, she’s staying up until 3:30 am. i can see the logic of that decision. i’m almost always up until about 2 am myself, feeling guilty for not going to bed at 11 PM (or earlier). Wonder what my dogs would think about this adjustment? Wonder if the guilt would abate if I intentionally stayed up until 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning to catch up on reading or get in some much needed writing.

it does require other adjustments in my schedule. as an artist, i find that i can be quite creative in the morning, and the wee hours hold a special enchantment for the artist in me because of its own mystery. the quiet of the house, the sleeping animals, the collection of thoughts that come out to meet me from the corners and alleys of my mind…all come together to form my creativity. simply put, the wee hours of the day may be the only time i can get things done.

today in Panera’s i reviewed some of the gotta-do’s on my list. my massive accomplishment chart. i’m so far behind it’s not funny any more. it never was funny to me, but it has held a certain degree of irony throughout this past year as the Beckmann Fellow. I am an emerging artist, but noone yet has asked me exactly what i’m emerging from. i submit that i am most likely emerging from a long, luxurious nap and need to awaken an get to work.

where is that body of work, that full-length book of poetry that i love to fantasize about, anyway?


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